Old

Some things have been inexorably been pulling me towards this point in the conversation this week so I have to come right out and say them....

and at the risk of sounding narcissistic....

Well Meaning Friend: "I think it does make you look old though"

Tanya: "You say it makes me look old...like that is a bad thing"

I have been going grey since I was 16yrs old. I was once a rich auburn/chestnut with hair down to nearly my waist and thick as rope. At nearly 44, I am significantly grey, especially in the front half of my head.

It's not that unusual really. There are a lot of people with significant grey at my age but we're not used to seeing it because they diligently dye it.

I'm certainly not against dyed hair; in fact when I was 13 years old I used to sigh and dream of having white hair and having it blue rinsed and set every week like the old ladies did.

I have encountered a LOT of well meant suggestions that I dye my hair (and I have at times) because "I'm too young to be grey" or "it makes you look so old"

The later statement may very well be true but the problem I have with this statement is why it is said like that is a bad thing. It really places silent synonyms like; bad, unwanted, pitiable, unattractive with the word old.

Why in this culture do we denigrate old?

Why do we not celebrate it or at the very least accept it as our natural path.

Why is there this wrestle and reluctance towards this part of our life?

Is it because we have been bombarded with marketing and consumerism. Have these negative suggestions been subliminally planted in our culture by the billion dollar companies selling cosmetics and lifestyles.

This week I also read a stirring post in one of the blogs I follow, Easy Living The Hard Way. It's called "Is Ignorance Bliss" and discusses how little children and for that matter people, know very little about where their food comes from, which is a good read in itself, but half way down the post is another subject.

Holly was sent a (pretend) torn magazine ad in an envelope to her house, addressed to her and in such a way that this company makes it seem that a well meaning friend urges her to try this anti-ageing cream. It gave the blogger some pause for thought and me also dear reader. I hope you will read her post too.

There is that poisonous word,

anti-age

Kind of sums it up doesn't it.

I'm not buying it.

I work in a medical specialist field and I see people of all ages, and yes, sometimes it is a pain to be getting old. But the beautiful depth of these people and their knowledge and wisdom is a delight to me. It's something I aspire to.

Wrinkled skin is not ugly; it's soft and silky and I can see the smiles where the laughter has been.

Grey hair isn't dull or colourless; it's the perfect softening foil for an aging face and it brings out people's eyes. It has so many shades and nuances.

I refuse to tell generations (or for that matter anyone over the age of 40 it seems) that they are ugly, worthless and far from perfect beings. They are not to be mocked or pitied.

Do we pity the toddler who stumbles when they are learning to walk.

I'll keep my grey hair thank you.

In my perfect world cosmetic creams would be paraded for what they are; skin conditioners that do make it more comfortable and protection from sun and wind.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Trouble is, beholders have been tampered with by marketing think tanks. There are a couple of songs that come to mind like Bette Midler's "I'm Beautiful Damn It" and India Arie's "Video" and "I'm Not My Hair"

These are the songs we should be singing to our children.