There is no Snapping Out Of It!

We have talked a bit about The Depressions here on this blog and I firmly believe if we talk about such things then more understanding and insight will follow, for those feeling it and for those with loved ones who are living it.

I read something very powerful today and I felt it very accurately described the decent of depression and clearly so did more than 5000 people who have commented. It is a "must read" for those who can't understand why people don't snap out of it. The greatest evidence of hope I saw at the end of this post was that in order to be able to so accurately describe the feelings, the writer must most assuredly be on the other side of depression.

The only thing I would add to this wonderful text of analogies is that being a "recovered depressionista" I do constantly peer over my shoulder looking for that black dog. I do worry and analyze feelings just in case he should be trying to worm his way back in.

I promise the next post will be much more fun and exciting but for now I hand you over to....

There is no 

Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two

Curtain Close For 2012

As we close the door on 2012, I'd like to thank you all for sharing it with me and contributing your wisdom, comments and support. You were all particularly adorable and loving when my husband went away to work for the first six months of the year. It was your thoughtfulness and steadfastness that made it so much easier to bear.

I would have to say that was the most significant thing for me this year. It was so good to be able to SKYPE and see his face every day. He is home now and getting plenty of work here now thank goodness.

The most viewed post for 2012 remains the waffle blanket tutorial which still averages 300 page views per day! Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing there are millions of people in the world getting their crochet on. Declining craft? I think NOT!

The most read post of 2012 was the review I did about "Why I Bought A Thermomix" and the second most popular is my Nan's Green Tomato Pickles

Living Better With Less continues to be a popular topic and I am so very happy that after the class groups finished in April this year we went on to form an interest group that meets on the last Thursday night of each month (and on special occasions in my kitchen!) to share and learn from each other. I'm even happier that readers in other states also decided to form their own groups and continue supporting each other too.

2012 seemed to be the year of the cordial round here;

In summer we made rhubarb cordial

In autumn rosehip cordial

in winter lemon cordial

and in spring elderflower cordial

Our most topical life post this year was "What Would You Do" and we talked very candidly and frankly about depression and suicide in the post "The Secret Of Happiness" and it was also the post that attracted a lot of comments second only to "Breaking All the Rules-Pavlova" which proves my point that you guys are with me through thick and thin!

We learned how to knit socks, make Christmas cakes, rescue echidnas and how to use pintrest.

We learned all about cutlery, clove oil and Tasmania.

We debated the environment, ditched plastic wrap, seed raising, animal husbandry and the value we place on food.

We talked our heads off about Christmas gift ideas again this year.

If you want to revisit any of these stories I suggest typing into the search box that I have over on the right in the side bar there somewhere.

Creating my cookbook was another big achievement this year and it has been a huge success this Christmas with the family and friends. If you contemplate doing one for your family I suggest you start now. It takes many, many months to get it to print stage so don't leave it to November!

There is still so much I want to do but one of my resolutions for next year is to say "no" more I'm afraid. I

have let some volunteer work go that wasn't quite fitting with my life style anymore and I am now setting my eyes towards more local community groups like National Trust and the CWA.

It's been a huge year and a fun year.

Thanks for being along for the ride.

What will we get up to next year?

What is your next focus for the new year ahead?

The Secret of Happiness

Last year just before Christmas I adopted a mantra for the coming year that seemed so filled with uncertainty.

The Secret Of Happiness...

Something To Do,

Someone To Love 

and 

Something To Hope For

As you know I am a keen supporter of youth suicide and depression and funds raised from the Sunflowers seeds go to the Nettlefold Foundation to assist their work in this area.

All of us get blue sometimes and we can get stuck in a rut.

There are times though when we may need to seek medical help either temporarily or permanently for real depression and I want people to start talking openly about depression so that it is not so stigmatised.

I suffered very severe depression after one of my best friends died a few years ago. Rock bottom didn't hit until after passing all those milestones; her birthday, the first Christmas without her, the first Easter until finally, the anniversary of her death. It was then that I began to think that I would never be happy again. I was not just sad and grieving at this point but I was now severely lacking in serotonin levels and had moved into the very dangerous self harm area. I am very grateful that someone very sharp recognised the signs and rang a doctor and booked me in. If not for her action, many would be remembering me today sadly and shaking their heads saying, "she seemed so fine, we had no idea, why on earth would she commit suicide?"

I received medical help for about a year.

I have not told my family because I feel ashamed, that I was weak and somehow lacking.

I nearly threw away everything I loved and sentenced people I loved to a lifetime of sadness and guilt.

I have learnt that people with depression hide it very well.

Most will continue to rise in the mornings, go off to work and come home and make dinner.

They think they are rational but are anything but because their life views are skewed and their feeling of self worth is extremely low.

I can understand now why people are so surprised when someone commits suicide because they hide it so well. Having someone find out and thwart your schemes is the last thing you want. It's hard to believe but it's because you don't want to create a fuss, you honestly think things would be better for everyone if you went away quietly.

Having recovered and walked away from that dark place, I still look over my shoulder in wariness, ever watchful that I don't wander that way again.

I also know that it is not merely a matter of "snapping out of it" either.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Am I normal sad or am I falling into depression?"

Since that time I have experienced the most happiest times of my life and I feel so utterly at peace and enjoy fulfilment and abundance. I am grateful for so many things and I live by that mantra. 

Keep life full and busy; hobbies, home making, work, gardening, cooking, yoga, volunteer work, fund raising, walking dogs....find something that fulfils you and engages you.

Someone to love; not just that rare Prince on a white steed, (I have one of those rare ones)

Families, aunties, cousins pets, dogs, chooks, pigeons, neighbours, orphans, God in whatever form you believe, there are so many who need/want your love.

Something to look forward to; Christmas, grandchildren, spring, publish a book, enter an art prize, get a degree, buy a cafe, a long bath every Sunday.

But most of all lets start talking to each other. Lets talk about depression and bring it out of the cupboard and into the light. If you suspect you have been very sad for a long time, ring and make an appointment with your doctor and ask a friend to go with you. They needn't go in to the appointment but you are more likely to make it to that appointment if someone commits to get you there. Take one step at a time.

Life is precious and I have shared something very, very special with you. I am not looking for judgements. I am just wanting people to get happy in their lives. Depression and suicide effect not just the "victim" (for want of a better word) but also those around them.

Gosh I hope I haven't depressed you! This was supposed to be a post about HAPPINESS...

(Zozie Doll by Susie McMahon)

If you would like to comment, please consider supplying the three things that you are applying to the happiness mantra.

What are you doing?

What/Who are you loving?

What are you looking forward to?