Education In The Home

My youngest daughter hosted afternoon tea for family and friends recently.

White damask and vintage doilies.

Cut crystal and silverware.

Old family bone china with delicate patterns.

Pretty vintage frocks that reminded me of my grandmother.

She was a big fan of Osti in the 70's.

The grooming and the up-do.

The multiple ear piercings are a modern give-away though.

The young ladies served,

cucumber sandwiches

cheese biscuits

mini quiches

zucchini slice squares 

scones with home made jumble berry jam

The circles keep turning and what was old is new again.

While we have been embracing the cafe culture, young girls have been missing the opportunity to practice their developing skills;

deportment, cooking, flower arranging, home making, grooming, conversation, manners and grace.

I have found myself pondering whether we have blurred some lines, confused some forms and given ground where we had not meant to in our fight for feminism.

Some play that took a domestic form is quite frowned upon now. Mothers I do hope you are encouraging your pre-schoolers to play with tea sets and wash dolly clothes. I hope you throw impromptu high teas for them on rainy days after school and I hope you are giving teens an opportunity to entertain guests in your homes too. We must keep encouraging our children to learn to be ladies and gentlemen. The home education is just as important as the school education.

(Disclaimer: Emma is a real person and in her spare time loves to hang out in daggy track pants, has a small tattoo and is older than she looks at 23 and can produce dimples on demand)

Holiday In Just One Day

I have to go back to work tomorrow so for my last day of holidays my man packed a thermos and planned a day of adventuring for a memorable holiday.

Hold the applause....it wasn't his idea in the first place. I tell him I need a "date" and he fishes for what do you means. I volunteer some basic information about "yes, a picnic would be nice, yes I prefer a bush trip rather than a beach trip" The rest he has to organise himself.

I'm working on a couple of principles here.

1.When you stop courting the relationship stops caring. Taking a woman on a "date" is a one-on-one experience which the woman interprets as "I am appreciated and cared for".

2. Re-defining the Roles: he is my man, my protector, my provider, my rock. He is capable of leading and I am trusting and follow (we're talking metaphorically here). It is a mixture of complacency and wanting to please that has him rather I plan the trip myself.

We travelled East over the "Sideling" and into Scottsdale to pick up some fresh bread rolls and meats, olives and cheese and headed for Ralph Falls, along the way passing through prime dairy country and paddocks of poppy crops, oats, barley, potatoes and onions.

It's a classic Summer day with a very comfortable temperature of 21. Most of the pasture have been mown and baled as silage or hay

The final ascent to Ralph Falls is via 17km of winding rocky dirt road giving stunning valley vistas of patchwork rural landscapes. The bush is riotous with flowers, nearly every tree and shrub is bursting in glorious show. Along the roadside are wild foxgloves adding their tall magenta spires of flowers.

At the top are two other couples in the area, the height of the season and the place is practically deserted.

I love this about Tasmania. One can glory in wilderness without the masses.

So I'm following this man with a picnic basket of food and a couple of cushions, on a halcyon day, through hushed rainforest for our own private retreat in the wilderness.

He scores big time. He and I have re-affirmed age old unspoken biological positions.

He feels satisfied and capable as the hunter and provider, my leader.

I feel loved and cherished, safe and valued. I will continue to follow this man on my life path.

(Don't forget you can click on the images to make them larger)

Ralph Falls

Craig didn't quite make it to this exact point. You might remember from the post about the shot tower that he really doesn't like heights all that much. This view is quite dizzying and looking to the left are spectacular valley views and cataracts of tree ferns.

We walked a little farther along a track, meeting no-one, and had a serene and simple picnic right there on the springy vegetation covering the ground. Not a soul, not a sound....

except for some flies but I spun a tea towel lazily overhead and that kept them at a distance.

After lunch we travelled on...

Letter for Kate

happy homemaker in the making

Recently Kate and I have exchanged a couple of emails and the last reply became quite lengthy and I thought I would open the circle wider. Kate is currently working in a big city but looking forward to a simpler lifestyle in a smaller environment that allows her to raise wonderful children. She is learning lots of skills in anticipation and it makes my heart rejoice.

Dear Kate,

.....I am lucky to work part time now but I really do think I spend too much time on the computer and could be DOING more! You have probably noticed I don't blog every day and I do think you have to find balance. There are quite a few bloggers I have discovered who have significant illness which prevents them from working (in the conventional sense). They have perfected the homemaker art and I think their blogging is a wonderful way for them to share and be a part of a community. It's good for them but also lucky for us.


I really admire the goals you are striving for. Craig and I often comment on the differences between children raised by their parents and those raised institutionally while their parents are working. Many people say they both NEED to work, but is that REALLY the case? Really? If it is, then what are the options to change that circumstance? At one point in my life, my husband and I were earning a significant amount of money, but because of our work life imbalance, we were spending huge amounts on child care, petrol, bought clothing, home cleaning and dinners out because we were so exhausted and it was our best option for getting vegetables in our diet! We were working more but spending more. Our quality of life was in fact worse.

I have come through all the raising the family and working full time stuff as one of the next generation women of the world and do you know what? I feel dudded a bit. Work is good, it's important and my children needed to see that example but I am disappointed that we didn't celebrate the homemaker at this time (80's and 90's). I am so pleased that motherhood and homemaking is increasingly being accepted as worthwhile and valuable. There is no shame in nominating one person who earns outside the home and the one who stays home to enable that. I was sold the idea back then that it was subservient but I now know it's nurturing. Of course this only works if you have a like minded partner who appreciates the care you take of them, the home and the children (plus you have to live simply and turn your back on that bs consumerism). If the nurturing and appreciation is flowing right then you find, that life, love and relationships are back in balance in a more "old-fashioned" traditional role model way. Feminism has brought us a long way and now given us choice but did it dictate the choice?

I was recently at a charity function and when asked what I did, I replied "homemaker" as my primary role and there was a moment of uncomfortable silence. When I expanded further and invited comment, the man I was conversing with visibly melted and his posture became so positive and he opened up and told me how much he admired women and their role. In the safety of our circle he was able to say how much he missed women in their truer sense. He was a professional and a world-wide lecturer and leader in his field and many of his colleagues are women. Their choice was not in dispute, he was merely expressing regret that it had become socially unacceptable not to have a paying career.

Are my musings and experience merely one womans'? I doubt it.
Is it something you have to discover for yourself in your own time? Maybe.
What I will tell you is to have the courage to stick with your convictions and I applaud them. You should expect uncomfortable silences when you tell people in professional circles that you are a mother but one day we will be truly equal. For now the biggest accomplishment forward in such circumstances will be not having to justify your choice or to defend your inteligence by trotting out your degree.
Your children will thankfully be of the generation that accepts all womens' choices as being equal and will applaud the homemaker every bit as much as the Prime Minister.